


I Just Want to Be Okay

by odst



Category: Red vs. Blue
Genre: Angst, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Not Beta Read, Serious Injuries, Washington's POV, carolina is mentioned, death of s/o, first finished rvb work, mainewash angst, picks up at the end of s15, v short
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-19
Updated: 2018-04-19
Packaged: 2019-04-24 20:54:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 585
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14363466
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/odst/pseuds/odst
Summary: Washington is haunted by thoughts of Maine, & this time, it's hard for him to differentiate between reality & his thoughts.





	I Just Want to Be Okay

**Author's Note:**

  * For [terminis](https://archiveofourown.org/users/terminis/gifts).



When Washington opens his eyes, he’s greeted by Maine. The other man’s in casual clothing, unlike armor he so usually sees him in, & he smiles at Washington. Maine leans in to kiss Washington, & when they meet, Wash melts. It feels like it’s been forever since they were together, forever since between them was fabric & not armor, skin to skin contact actually possible.

It’s sweet, chaste, it’s just what Wash needs, in times like these. Maine’s hands meet his waist, dragging Wash in, & Wash wraps his arms around Maine’s neck. Maine has always been a source of comfort, loving & standing by Wash’s side through thick & thin, how hard Freelancer was, &. . . & afterwards, too, even if it wasn’t in the way Wash so desperately wanted, so desperately needed. Wash shook the thought from his mind, Maine was here  _ now,  _ he was alive & tangible & real.

Wash pulled away from Maine’s lips just to rest his head against his lover’s shoulder, to just take a moment to take it all in, soak in the moment. It was quiet, Maine hadn’t said anything, & that struck Washington as being slightly odd. Didn’t Maine always quietly talk to him, even after the briefcase incident?

_ It’s  _ Maine, he reasons with himself,  _ Maine, a big, warm, caring guy, Maine  _ loves  _ Washington, they’ve known each other for years, been together for nearly that much, two leaderboard Freelancers. _ Wash reunites their lips to ground himself, Maine, Maine,  _ Maine. _

He’s so distracted in trying to convince himself that yes, Maine is here, that he doesn’t notice the pain in his neck until one of Maine’s hands cups his cheek, wrist brushing against Wash’s throat. He pulls away from Maine with a strangled noise, the sharp, insistent pain in his throat hitting him. Tears gather in his eyes, & Maine gives him a look of concern, retracting his hands. Wash brings a hand to his throat, wanting to sob when he touches his skin & pain flares beneath his fingertips.

Maine’s hands are outstretched for Wash, but they don’t touch him, as if waiting for his approval before Maine will touch him, & Washington is grateful for it. He nods for Maine to touch him again, & it’s some of the worst pain he’s felt, like when South shot him in the back, but it dulls slightly when Maine places his palms against Washington’s sides.

Breathing hurts, but Maine makes it feel better, somehow, in someway, & Wash throws himself back at Maine, tucking himself under the other man’s chin, resting his head on Maine’s shoulder, & it’s like the pain melts away instantly. The relief is great, but Wash grows tired, his eyes fluttering closed while he’s melting into Maine.

Suddenly, everything is cold, & his eyes snap open, disoriented. The world feels like it’s spinning, & he can’t get up,  _ oh God, why does everything hurt? His throat, what happened to his throat- _

_ What happened to Maine?  _ It’s hard to focus on anything, but it’s painfully clear that he’s alone in a hospital bed, & fuzzy memories hit him, Temple, being in armor freeze,  _ did he get hurt? _ Where was Carolina, where was everyone else?

_ But Maine, _ his mind pesters insistently, & it’s confusing, Maine’s dead, isn’t he? Hargrove had his armor, Maine had betrayed him for Beta, Maine was dragged off the cliff while attached to the hook of a car, Maine had fallen into freezing waters & drowned, Maine was  _ dead. _

It wasn’t just the disorienting medication or the bright hospital lights that made Washington start crying, but when the nurses asked, that’s what he blamed.


End file.
